can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
