guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
