She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
