I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
If that was your dad, he is hot
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
