Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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