I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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