so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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