How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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