So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
