I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
