the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
