I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
