Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
