I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
