yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
well you can't waste a boner
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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