Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
