i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
