So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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