Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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