I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
