he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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