If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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