They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
