I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
