A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
