There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
