Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
