Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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