great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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