Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
