This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
