Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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