screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
