I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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