he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
