you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just found a bag of teeth...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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