I faked an abortion last night.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
