it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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