So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
