last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
