But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
