If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
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and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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