ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
