I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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