I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
