i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
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