If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
