She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize