I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
