new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
