You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
