White coat. Heels.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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