You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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