I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
