Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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