she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
there is glitter all over my balls
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
