Sry I called you an 8
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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