Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
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